Entering 2021 with tears from 2020

As the clock hit midnight and we welcomed in 2021, I felt tears in my eyes. Tears of gratitude, joy, grief, love, and expectancy. 2020 was a hard year. Many people faced a lot of loss in areas they didn’t expect. Lives lost. Jobs lost. Connection lost. Touch lost. The losses tried to creep to the forefront of my mind, getting in the way from me seeing the beauty that 2020 had.

We watched the quiet, empty welcoming of the new year at Times Square from our living room TV. Empty spaces filled with inflatable tube men. There were some people there, but we couldn’t see their smiles; small groups excluded in their designated squares. There weren’t surprise proposals, there weren’t new year’s kisses. There weren’t young kids cheering as they sat on their parents’ shoulders.

We made it to 2021, but not many did. And I remembered them as we made it into the new year. I prayed for their families and friends, I prayed for those discouraged hearts. Please don’t forget those who are still broken-hearted.

When you’re faced with loss, you not only see what you had, you also see what you still have. You see what cannot be taken. You see the intangible things that carry so much weight and worth, more than the things you’ve lost.

When you’re faced with loss when it comes to a loved one, you feel the depth of how much they mean to you. How great of an impact they had on your life. And you’ll miss them. The missing may never go away.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you for this new year. Thank you for bringing us into this new year, where you’re moving, where you’re doing; where we need to wait, move, and be still. You wait patiently for us, I pray that we remember this patience to have for ourselves and others. Patience of processing the past, patience of waiting for things to move forward, patience with hope that things will fall into place again. Not believing in fate, but in You. In who you are and what you do.

I don't put my faith in the new year. I don't believe that just because the name of the year changed therefore its problems will go away. I'm not putting my faith in time, I put my faith in God. Seeing how He's been with us, there for us, provided for us, and comforted us in 2020, I know He will be with us in 2021. God will be with us.

"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" Psalm 27:13-14

We shall look upon the goodness of the Lord, here, while still alive. We can see it now! His goodness is all around us; how can we say we don't see it? Are we looking?

I'm still taking the same desires I had in 2020 into 2021, and I'm still believing in God for them. But they're not my focus; being with Him is my focus. Looking into Jesus's eyes, as I walk on water towards Him, remains my focus. 

We shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.