Hesitate to ask
Question. I know I love to question everything and ask a million and one questions. Whether it's someone telling me a story, explaining a new discovery, or explaining to teach me something. I especially don't hesitate to ask a million and one questions to my fiancé. I could drive him crazy with my overwhelming amount of questions. After joking about my constant questioning I came up with a challenge for myself to not ask my fiancé a single question for a whole 24 hours. Challenge accepted!
Of course, a literal five minutes later I asked "What?" with impatience as he was in the middle of explaining something. I was shocked! I couldn't even last five minutes. But he had grace and we restarted the clock.
I thought I could handle the challenge. I thought it would be doable and painless. However, it was actually agonizing not being able to ask questions. I would open my mouth but just breathe out. And he enjoyed being able to talk! I just found myself agreeing a lot and learning to be patient.
Our conversations were actually peaceful. There weren't any confusions or misunderstandings. We were both clear, concise, direct, and easy to understand.
I then realized just how many useless questions I would have asked. It made me reflect on myself and what I really would want to know. It made me stop and think, would that question really have been necessary to ask? Was I asking just to talk — like talking just to talk? Were my questions going to bring us into a deeper place in our relationship? You see how I question everything? I started to question my questioning!
It left me with two main questions: why do we ask questions and what are our motives?
We ask to prove we're right.
We ask to better understand.
We ask to twist the truth.
We ask to be sarcastic.
We ask to help others realize the truth and reality.
But we don't always ask questions to really understand. It could just be to shut someone up. We don't want to sit and wait for a person to get through a thought, we just want to already know where a person is going, what's their main point.
Impatience and insecurities are what drive to questioning.
The Bible says to be slow to speak and quick to listen. In the end, everyone benefits from that verse. It will definitely cause conversations to roll smoothly if we just wait for our turn to speak and we actually listen. Not only does asking so many questions make a conversation go longer it's frustrating for everyone. Just wait and listen! Be patient, they'll get to it.
The verse says to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. It's with impatience that we become angry. Impatience from listening and not being able to speak, from not being able to express ourselves.
When we question friendships, or question when someone is being nice, or when someone doesn't text you back in the next five minutes it could be from insecurities. We're insecure and unsure so we question.
Have faith. Trust in love and know the truth. You are loved, understood, and cared for.
Actions speak louder than words. Listen with your eyes and see how a person feels. It's not always about logic; feelings aren't always logical. Hear their heart and hesitate to ask.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry
— James 1:19
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.
— Proverbs 18:2
[Turn] your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding
— Proverbs 2:2
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