What I am selfish with
There are many routes I can take my mind on. I can worry, get distracted and miss out on current blessings. I can become bitter and angry and rot my bones. I can give away all my burdens to the Lord and receive His peace and joy.
We all have these choices to make on a daily basis. When things get bumpy, when you get unexpected interruptions, where does your mind go?
I used to panic about time. I would race myself to make sure I did certain things by a certain time and I would panic if I were late to an engagement. I had to make sure everything went as it was "supposed" to. Now as a twenty-something woman, I need to do something else with my time.
I need to be in the word. I'm in this season where I have a lot of time available and I see this as an opportunity to fill myself up with truth. I'm following this "Read the Bible in a Year" plan and it's something I look forward to do the moment I wake up. Having this plan makes it a daily goal, and if I reach that goal daily I know I will be fed and full.
Other than reading my daily Bible devotion, I started this devotional book, "Famous in Heaven and at Home" by Michelle Myers. It was an eye-opener and a heart-revealer. It's a 31-day devotion studying the Proverbs 31 woman. It's not a to-do list, it's not this nagging read to make you feel guilty, it's a resource. It helped me ask God big questions to then truly see what I needed to change, including my use of time.
One of the devotion reading asks "what are you selfish with?" I couldn't really think of anything off the top of my head, so I asked God. In an instant He answered with "Your time."
It blew my mind! Because it was so true! I would rush away my day focused on what I needed to get done or I would argue with my husband on what the plan for that day had to be. I was impossible when it came to time! But the Bible doesn't say to do that.
The Bible says to be a servant, humble yourself, reach out to help. Once the Lord revealed this to me I had an opportunity that very night to choose how to spend my time the next day. I was asked to do something completely out of my way that someone else could have done — but they probably would not have done the extra request. I knew this was a test, so I humbled myself and said yes.
I did that favor for someone, and the extra request, with peace and a cheerful heart. After that, I was able to bless others that day with the blessing I received from that morning's favor.
If I had stuck with my "important plan" of sleeping in (hah!) I would have kept this blessing from others — I would have given others bumpy moments in their day.
By taking the time to fill myself up with God's word and reading something that will help to prune the dead branches and leave room for branches that bear good fruit, I was able to reflect on myself and give God a chance to speak to me about something I had not known.
Sweet friend, don't quiet His truth, don't rush out for your day without a small dose of His peace.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
— Philippians 2:3
Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor [others]
— 1 Corinthians 10:24
Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.
— John 15:2