Be healed for true companionship
I was listening to a podcast episode titled "Without Rival - Part 4" from Conversations with John & Lisa Bevere where Lisa and two ladies talked about relationships that are a companionship versus a competition. It sparked my thoughts that it is possible for relationships to be based on competition, comparison, and jealousy rather than love and companionship.
I'm currently reading "Love Does" by Bob Goff and he mentions a friendship of his where he knew he was a friend not a project. He felt the intimacy and honesty of his friendship; he was confident in that truth.
The Bible has beautiful examples of true companionships like David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, Jesus and His disciples. These relationships were true in their love and unselfishness. In each case there were times of self-sacrifice, putting one's own wants or thoughts aside for the better of the other.
It takes hard work and trust to have a companion. You may have been betrayed one too many times when you thought you have found true friends. You may have been hurt when you thought it was safe to share personal and serious details of your life. But those past mistakes or hurts should not draw the line for you of how many times you'll try to reach that true companion. A true friend may be waiting and you're not there to meet them because of the weight of pain you carry.
Let God heal you. Let Him enter into that heart of yours and allow Him to come in and sink Himself inside of the sea of tears in your heart. The Bible says he collects our tears. He holds them and keeps them safe. He knows our hearts and how much healing we need. Open up to Him. That freedom and peace will overwhelm you and then you will have the guidance and discernment in finding true companions. To discern who is true or who is looking for relationships for the wrong reasons.
Companionship can be hard to find. You have to build that trust and believe in a person. You may have things in common to start the spark of a relationship then you find yourself sharing things about yourself because you feel safe with that person, your guards come down and you trust the person and that friendship.
We can't leave it to the other person, however, to do all the work and to "prove themselves" to us. We need to work hard too, watch ourselves and how we act or treat others.
Relationships with selfish intent, where someone reaches out just for their fulfillment or their needs alone, isn't true companionship. It's being selfish and misusing a person. Same with competition. If you reach out to a person because you see them as a threat somehow or you feel this imaginary competition, because I'm sure it's in your heard, that leaves no room for growth.
Unhealthy competition based on self-doubt, jealousy, or covetousness hurts everyone. It does not nor will it ever build one up in the best way. It actually brings one party down in order for the other to feel lifted up.
I pray for real companionships for all you out there. To those who have a longing in your heart for raw, honest, lovely relationships. It's not good to be lonely; we weren't created to be alone. Community and love are vital to our health, and sanity really. Step out of your comfort zone, try and you will find others like you: hurt and alone, needing a friend. Reach out for true companionship.
You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?
— Psalm 56:8
If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
— Galatians 5:25-26
Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them.
— Ephesians 5:6-7