Dealing with disappointment
When things don't go as you had "planned."
Boy can I get disappointed so easily. Woke up later than I would have liked? Disappointed. Forgot to pass by the store for milk? Disappointed — branding myself as a horrible wife. Seriously, I would be that dramatic of things. Thank God for my husband who pointed out to me how easily disappointed I would get. I had never noticed, or I just ignored that it was problem.
I was washing dishes when I asked God about it, is it true? Do I really get disappointed easily? And I heard Him say that I get disappointed of things that haven't happened so I miss what is actually happening. He went a little further, I make disappointments greater than joy that's available and keeping me from seeing blessings. I really don't know why I do this, it could be because I used to like to control things and so when control is lost it "brings chaos" thus disappointment. Losing control over things, though, does not bring chaos; just to be clear. Things may not look like you would like but that doesn't mean it is not still beautiful.
In addition to the disappointment of the situation I would also inflict self-disappointment. I would label myself as like this horrible, stupid being if I did something wrong. What? It is not that serious. I'm not Ms. Perfect — no one is.
The feeling of disappointment would change the atmosphere around me and would affect people around me. People would go silent or frustrated. Hah, my freak outs are so unnecessary.
One example of this was on the morning of my wedding day a mirror that was next to our entrance door fell and was crushed by a family member who walked on top of it, they didn't know there was a mirror underneath the folded boxes. They were reaching to open the door for me but I greeted them in a panic about the mirror and how it was crushed and shattered. But they remained so peaceful and told me not to worry about it, for me just to go and that it will be taken cared of.
My panicking was not a solution. I did not have to control this or handle it; it was already going to be handled. That unfortunate incident did not stop the wedding from happening or delay us from arriving on time. It was a small moment but it sticks with me. I saw polar opposites of how to handle an unexpected disaster. My family member told me that it was ok. I trusted them and thank God I didn't stay just to clean up when I really did not have to.
Now my husband tells me "it's ok" when I mention to him something that wasn't "planned" or expected. It really shuts me up. Because it is ok to not have everything go as "planned." Staying stuck to this "ideal plan" doesn't bring freedom, it brings bondage. Flexibility in situations help you breathe and move; you can do more when you're flexible rather than stiff.
I am thankful for this journey and the honesty of people who love me that catch this bad habit I have.
And now that my eyes are open to this trait of mine I can stop myself or just pray and ask God for help. Because by focusing on the disappointments or "unplanned chaos" I truly miss all the blessings I have or the joyful moments that could be happening.
Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don't have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless — like chasing the wind.
— Ecclesiastes 6:9
Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.
— Colossians 3:2
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
— Romans 8:28 Proverbs 14:1
Boy can I get disappointed so easily. Woke up later than I would have liked? Disappointed. Forgot to pass by the store for milk? Disappointed — branding myself as a horrible wife. Seriously, I would be that dramatic of things. Thank God for my husband who pointed out to me how easily disappointed I would get. I had never noticed, or I just ignored that it was problem.
I was washing dishes when I asked God about it, is it true? Do I really get disappointed easily? And I heard Him say that I get disappointed of things that haven't happened so I miss what is actually happening. He went a little further, I make disappointments greater than joy that's available and keeping me from seeing blessings. I really don't know why I do this, it could be because I used to like to control things and so when control is lost it "brings chaos" thus disappointment. Losing control over things, though, does not bring chaos; just to be clear. Things may not look like you would like but that doesn't mean it is not still beautiful.
In addition to the disappointment of the situation I would also inflict self-disappointment. I would label myself as like this horrible, stupid being if I did something wrong. What? It is not that serious. I'm not Ms. Perfect — no one is.
The feeling of disappointment would change the atmosphere around me and would affect people around me. People would go silent or frustrated. Hah, my freak outs are so unnecessary.
One example of this was on the morning of my wedding day a mirror that was next to our entrance door fell and was crushed by a family member who walked on top of it, they didn't know there was a mirror underneath the folded boxes. They were reaching to open the door for me but I greeted them in a panic about the mirror and how it was crushed and shattered. But they remained so peaceful and told me not to worry about it, for me just to go and that it will be taken cared of.
My panicking was not a solution. I did not have to control this or handle it; it was already going to be handled. That unfortunate incident did not stop the wedding from happening or delay us from arriving on time. It was a small moment but it sticks with me. I saw polar opposites of how to handle an unexpected disaster. My family member told me that it was ok. I trusted them and thank God I didn't stay just to clean up when I really did not have to.
Now my husband tells me "it's ok" when I mention to him something that wasn't "planned" or expected. It really shuts me up. Because it is ok to not have everything go as "planned." Staying stuck to this "ideal plan" doesn't bring freedom, it brings bondage. Flexibility in situations help you breathe and move; you can do more when you're flexible rather than stiff.
I am thankful for this journey and the honesty of people who love me that catch this bad habit I have.
And now that my eyes are open to this trait of mine I can stop myself or just pray and ask God for help. Because by focusing on the disappointments or "unplanned chaos" I truly miss all the blessings I have or the joyful moments that could be happening.
Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don't have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless — like chasing the wind.
— Ecclesiastes 6:9
Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.
— Colossians 3:2
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
— Romans 8:28 Proverbs 14:1
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