The thin line between honesty and rudeness

We all know that the eyes are the windows to our soul, but did you know that the things that come out of your mouth comes from your heart? Your words are just as important as your actions, and whatever you say identifies what lies in your heart.

If you’re one to constantly complain about people or things, whether it’s about the service at a restaurant or how a friend didn’t say hi, your reactions matter just as much as an other’s actions.

I try to keep in mind of how to respond to situations or to people because I know that once I speak out my words will stick or leave a mark. We remember what people say, and we all like to know what a person says if another confronts them about something.

We speak life and death, and our tongues are as sharp as a sword. When we speak, it’s best to speak life into a person by speaking positively, not negatively. Give that person affirmation because when we bring a person down or complain to them that they’re “always” a certain way or they “always” do something wrong, it’s not going to fill them up with positive self esteem. Especially with a child, you want to give them great feedback for listening or for doing something well. Even as adults we need that same kind of encouragement.

We don’t all speak out about how a person may be hurting them with their words but if a person goes on without knowing how they may come across they will not change. It doesn’t have to be a confrontational thing to share with a person how they’re coming across; it helps them to see how their words affect others.

No one wants to hear the negative things a person has to say about him or her, but if it’s important that a person needs to hear something that’s causing a problem it’s best to approach it appropriately.

This is something that I still need to work on. My friends or family would tell me if I’m coming off rudely and I am always shocked that that’s how I’m coming across, because to me I’m just being honest about something — when really it’s coming across as being rude.

I was convicted about my rudeness when I was reading 1 Corinthians 13. In 1 Corinthians 13:5 it says love is not rude. All the times that I have read that passage I honestly never noticed that part (I know, it’s terrible! But I’m being honest here). I felt terrible about myself and the amount of times people have told me that I’m being rude. It’s great to be honest and direct about your thoughts and feelings, but there’s a line where your approach is just rude.

We’ve heard it since kindergarten: if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. But that saying holds true to today. Speak life into a person, not death. Speak the truth, but with love.

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

A wise man’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.


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